What is Self Confidence? Self confidence refers to the innermost feeling that lies within each of us that relates to our need for self-acceptance, self-satisfaction and self-recognition. Self confidence has been one of the most important concepts discussed in psychology. A self-confident person is one who has a good perception of his or her abilities and standing in the world. Self-confident people are more likely to accept their mistakes and learn from them – which also makes them more likely to succeed at achieving their goals in life.
So, what happens if a person lacks self confidence? Not being confident enough in their abilities, inhibits people from having enough conviction in their actions, which often results in the results of their action being suboptimal. It inhibits the formation of abilities related to execution, planning and management – which is so important in business. The constant need to conform to the expectations of other people, or being always worried about their judgments leads a person lacking in confidence to become self-critical and distracts them from achieving their objectives in life.
Lack of self confidence deteriorates a person’s social life. This is so because a person who is not confident enough would never venture out of his or her comfort zone or reach out to other people, fearing rejection. This commonly observed phenomenon is referred to as “social phobia,” and is directly related to other psychological conditions such as depression.
Under confident people are petrified of being judged by others, avoid interacting with new people, resulting in even lower confidence, and further isolation. This is indeed a vicious circle, which isn’t easy to break out of.
What marks out confident people from those who obviously lack in self confidence is that they trust themselves better; do what they feel to be the right thing to do, without any expectation or need for the approval of their peers. This actually leads to them winning the approval of their friends, bosses, clients, relatives, as people tend to approve of and trust self-confident men and women.
What causes lack of self confidence in people? Parenting has a great impact on how confident a child grows up to be. Often, people having low self esteem are those who were the targets of physical and emotional abuse as children, or had bitter experiences of family conflicts or divorce of parents. Equally, having very overprotective parents also leads to a child failing to develop self confidence as an adult. How a person fares at academic or professional life also has a major impact on self confidence. Men and women who have had trouble getting jobs or failed at college tend to suffer from a severe lack of self confidence.
There are ways to get out of the hold of bad experiences and get back one’s confidence. For this, it is important to understand that nobody is perfect and it is not possible for one to be the best at everything that they set out to do. Self-acceptance is the key to self confidence. Being aware of your strengths and weaknesses, building on your strengths and accepting your weaknesses is also critical in this respect. Equally, it is important to start taking risks and patting yourself on the back for a job well done.
These are the simple techniques that help build self confidence in people. There are also several books in self confidence, which are useful as well.
To summarize, fear of failure and the constant need to seek the approval of others leads to lack of self confidence in so many people. Bad childhood experiences or traumas play a role as well. In such a scenario, gaining self confidence may seem to be an impossible task, but it can be achieved, however hard as it may seem by hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP).